I believe all things deserve a goodbye. Especially since I’ve had this account since 8th grade. I’m literally crying over a stupid account and website.
Regardless this account has experience some of the hardest times in my life and it was always a place I could come too to vent. I vented about my first abusive relationship and how my tenth grade year was the first time i experienced isolation. When I was molested by my only friend in 11th grade, while another was in the hospital, and how my entire highschool (300 people) found out about it. I even kept this account when my highschool peers were harrassing me and calling me a liar on here. and How my boyfriend at the time didn’t believe me and continued to be good friends to this day with my molester. When that same boyfriend told me he cheated on me, three days before prom and I still went with him. Every time I tried or wanted to try to commit suicide, one of the first places I came to vent was this website. I spent four months in the hospital and spent every day of it reposting to this account. But there’s nothing left for me on this account.
Over the last six months I thought that I was making good decisions and making progress in my life but today I think it finally hit me. I haven’t gotten anywhere, I can barely picture a future for myself, let alone drag myself out of bed most days. I believed in a lot of things in my life, and today; I dont even know who I am, who I want to be… or why I’ve spent nineteens years of my life doing nothing but copying others and making a complete ass of myself. In the last month ive questioned myself about every move and action I made, now as the month ends and ive dug myself into this pit.
Theres no where left I want to go anymore. No one I want to talk too… no one I want to see. nothing left for me to do. I don’t know what or who I believe in. I just know there’s nothing, fucking nothing for me here.
